* Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formally
known as California. White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.
* Spotted Owl Plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.
* Baby concieved naturally -- scientists stumped.
* Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
* Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran).
*Iraq still closed off, physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe
levels.
* France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.
* Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned
all smoking.
* George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
* Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.
* 85-Year, $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.
* Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.
* Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they can now photograph a woman with her
mouth shut.
* Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
* Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.
* Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.
* New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters, and rolled up newspapers must be registered
by January 2036.
* Congress now authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaigne accounts.
* Capitol Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with congressman.
* IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
