~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Arizona: But It's A Dry Heat

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Arkansas: Literacy Ain't Everything, Ask My Mom-Sister

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

California: By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Colorado: If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only The Kennedy's Don't Own It Yet

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Delaware: We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Florida: Ask Us About Our Grandkids

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Georgia: We Put The "Fun" In Fundamentalist Extremism

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death To Mainland Scum,

But Leave Your Money)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Idaho: More Than Just Potatoes ... Well Okay, We're Not, But

The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Illinois: Please Don't Pronounce the "S"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Indiana: 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Iowa: We Do Amazing Things With Corn

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kansas: First Of The Rectangle States

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kentucky: Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Louisiana: We're Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our

Tourism Campaign

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Maine: We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Maryland: If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Massachusetts: Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's (For Most Tax

Brackets)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Michigan: First Line Of Defense From The Canadians

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Minnesota: 10,000 Lakes... And 10,000,000,000,000 Mosquitoes

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mississippi: Come And Feel Better About Your Own State

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Missouri: Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Montana: Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-wing Crazies,

And Very Little Else

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nebraska: Ask About Our State Motto Contest

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nevada: Hookers and Poker!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

New Hampshire: Go Away And Leave Us Alone

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

New Jersey: You Want A ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto

Right Here!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

New Mexico: Lizards Make Excellent pets

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

New York: You Have The Right To Remain Silent, You Have The

Right To An Attorney ...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

North Carolina: Tobacco Is A Vegetable

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

North Dakota: All The Snow Froze Our Brains!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ohio: At Least We're Not Michigan

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Oklahoma: Like The Play, Only No Singing

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Oregon: Spotted Owl... It's What's For Dinner

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pennsylvania: Welcome to Hillbillyville

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rhode Island: We're Not REALLY An Island

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

South Carolina: Remember The Civil War? We Didn't Actually Surrender

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

South Dakota: Closer Than North Dakota

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tennessee: The Educashun State

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Texas: Si' Hablo Ing'les (Yes, I Speak English)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Utah: Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Vermont: Yep Vermont, What's In Vermont?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Virginia: Who Says Government Stiffs And Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Washington: Help! We're Overrun By Nerds And Slackers!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Washington, D.C.: Wanna Be Mayor?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

West Virginia: One Big Happy Family... Really!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wisconsin: Come Cut The Cheese

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Wyoming: Where Men Are Men ... and the sheep are scared!